X303s Are Fun Too!
by Kate McCaye
Summary: Set right at the beginning of Memento. SG1 don't like being passengers on the Prometheus. They all have a little wicked fun. Absolutely no point to this story.


A/N: As far as I know, nobody's bothered to write something that takes place during "Memento," but I found the idea of SG-1 stuck on the Prometheus as babysitters the perfect opportunity for Jack and company to have a little bit of fun. Takes place just before the episode begins, or during the opening credits. Your choice.

X-303s are Fun Too!

Colonel Jack O'Neill groaned as the alarms sounded throughout the Prometheus yet again. It was such a joke... the ship's commander was setting them off so frequently for drills that if there ever was a real emergency, he would likely find his crew slow on the uptake as they readied themselves for yet another drill. Plus it was a damn annoying sound. It was giving him a headache. He idly wondered if he had done something to piss off his CO more than usual as he tried to focus on his yo-yo and not on the annoying sounds issuing from the rest of the large ship. As the string tangled around itself, he dropped it on the thin mattress of his tiny quarters and looked at his watch. Half an hour. Time to go bug his various team members again.

Teal'c was asleep. He was having a difficult time, not that he'd admit it to anybody, adjusting to the loss of his symbiote. While the Tretonin was working quite nicely, the concept of sleep was one with which he was having a volatile relationship. He was inherently apprehensive about a practice that would leave him as vulnerable to attack as sleep did, although he had attached himself rather enthusiastically to the concept of dreaming, after the initial shock of it had worn off.

This was fast becoming a tired subject for O'Neill, who had found himself being told in great detail the events of Teal'c's more colorful dreams. A surprisingly large number of them involved Teal'c swimming in various bowls of food. O'Neill figured the cottage cheese had probably been the worst of the lot.

For all that Teal'c was enjoying the new experience of sleeping, he still found himself unable to do it for more than a few hours at a time, so he had taken to rather odd napping hours when they weren't on a mission. He continued to perform Kel-no-reem, although he did not still receive quite the same rejuvenating effects. Since O'Neill had stumbled upon Teal'c sleeping, he decided not to bother the man, who was looking remarkably like a large teddy bear in his relaxed state.

That left Carter or Jonas. _Wow, tough call there,_ he thought to himself, raising his hand to knock on Carter's door.

He frowned when Jonas poked his head out of the adjoining room and said, "Colonel! I wouldn't go in there if I were you."

Figuring he would probably regret it, he followed Jonas's enthusiastic beckoning for him to follow him back into his room. "What's up, Jonas?" he asked.

"She's mad about something. Not sure what."

"How do you know?"

"She was a little... abrupt with me when I suggested we could pass the time doing some more hyperdrive simulations..."

"Well, who wouldn't be?" he asked dryly.

"Sir?"

"She could just be simulated out, Jonas, that occur to ya? She's been doing them for months..."

"True, but she was upset about something, not just bored."

_Uh-oh. Upset AND bored. A bad combination for Carter. Things tended to get a little bit... blown up._

Jonas rooted around in his bag and pulled out a candy bar, unwrapped it, and began munching away happily. O'Neill watched him thoughtfully. "Bite?" Jonas asked, offering it out to him.

"No. But do you have another one of those? For Carter?"

"Nope. Sorry. I've got some other stuff though..." Looking around suspiciously as if checking for invisible snack thieves, he pulled something small out from under his bed.

"What is that?" O'Neill demanded curiously.

"It's an ice chest... sort of. I modified it a little so it would be like a portable freezer..."

O'Neill opened it and pulled out one of two pints of ice cream triumphantly. "Wow. Way to go Jonas. Can I... borrow this?"

"Borrow?"

"Yeah... well, okay have. I'll get you more when we get home."

"Well... okay. If it's for Major Carter," he stipulated.

"Of course. Hey, you and Teal'c meet me in my room later, okay? I'll teach you a new Earth tradition. Called poker."

"Sounds great!" Jonas said, smiling and handing him a spoon.

He nodded his thanks and left the room, popping open the little tub of ice cream. Good, it was chocolate of some sort. He dug the spoon into it, pleased that it was already quite soft, and knocked on Carter's door.

"Um, just a minute!" she called hastily, sounding as though she was hiding something.

"Carter?" he called curiously through the door. "What are you doing in there?"

Suddenly the door was pulled open quickly and she grabbed the front of his jacket, yanking him inside and slamming the door behind him.

"Whoa. I'm having locker room flashbacks..." he said with a grin.

She shot a glare at him before returning to sit cross-legged on the tiny cot. Her laptop was up and running, and she was apparently doing something of vital importance, because she had yet to notice that he had ice cream. He took a big bite of it, watching her curiously. Yeah, she was definitely pissed about something, but she also had that slightly maniacal look in her eyes that meant she was already on her way to getting even...

"Carter, you're not about to crash this baby just to make a point or something, are you?" he asked conversationally, trying to get a look at her screen.

"What? Oh, no sir, I'm not crashing the ship..." she said distractedly.

"Well, that's good to hear. So... you gonna tell me what, or dare I guess WHO has been bothering you?"

She didn't appear to have heard him, continuing to type at breakneck speed for several moments. Finally, she put her laptop aside and turned her attention to him for the first time.

"Hi. Nice to see you too," he said with a smile, sitting down next to her as she scooted over a bit to make more room for him.

"Sorry, sir, I was... in the middle of something," she said evasively, reaching for the spoon.

"So I noticed. What's wrong and is what you're doing to fix it going to land anyone in the infirmary?"

"No sir. I'm just... I don't like this assignment, sir," she confessed around a spoonful of ice cream. There was almost the tiniest hint of a whine in her voice. He'd heard it before, on very rare occasions, but never while they were on a mission.

"Well, neither do I. Believe it or not, even I get tired of a yo-yo after a day and a half." She smiled and reached for more ice cream. He just handed the whole container over.

"Thanks."

"Thank Jonas. He smuggled it aboard, I am merely the delivery boy."

She smiled. "I mean... sir, you must be... frustrated with the situation? Being expected to just hang quietly in the background just in case something goes wrong..."

"Of course. But I thought such feelings werebeneath you, Carter."

She smiled into the container of ice cream. "It's just... I did some work on this ship..."

"SOME work?" he spluttered. "Carter you're the reason this thing is flying, it was only half finished when we found it! Fercryinoutloud, we should have named the damned thing after you!"

She tried very hard not to smile at that but couldn't help it. "Thank you, sir."

He nodded and decided that compliment had earned him another bite of ice cream. He congratulated himself when he successfully commandeered the spoon again without having her bite his hand off. "So... you don't like sharing your toys?" he asked.

"It's not that. Travelling by Stargate still beats this hands down..."

"You can say that again."

"I just don't like seeing other people in charge of it when..."

"Did somebody say something to you?" he asked. She waved the spoon absently between them but didn't answer. "Carter..."

"It was nothing. Just an off-the-cuff remark when I offered to help Major Gant..."

"Who?"

"Major Gant, sir, the only female member of Colonel Ronson's..."

"Oh yeah... who made the remark? Ronson?"

"Yeah, he was well within his rights, it's his command..."

"What did he say?"

"That just because she didn't build the systems doesn't mean she doesn't understand them and can fix whatever goes wrong with them... meaning that I didn't do a very good job in the first place if there's something wrong with the system..."

"That's crap, Carter, you know there's nothing wrong with your system. And didn't you make it specifically user-friendly? So that, and I believe these are your exact words here, 'even I' could figure it out." She blushed a little and took another bite of ice cream. "Well, Ronson is a jerk. He has even less people skills than I do. Unfortunately, he's in charge here."

"Yes, sir."

"I can talk to him..."

"That won't be necessary, Colonel, thank you."

He eyed her suspiciously. Right on cue, every light in the room or hallway, as far as they could tell, went off. They sat in complete darkness for a few moments, listening to the chaos that had erupted after it happened.

"Major," he finally said in a calm voice, as if he was discussing the weather.

"Yes, sir?"

"Please tell me you had nothing to do with that."

When he didn't get a response, he started laughing. Relieved, she joined in as well. "At least you're managing to keep yourself entertained," he said with one last chuckle. "Let's see how long it takes HIS Major to get those babies back online," he said triumphantly, leaning back into a more comfortable position.

Ten minutes later, the lights were back on, and they were both called over the PA system to the bridge. "Tell me that's all you did," he said quietly to her as they made their way up to the bridge. She gave him an innocent look but didn't say anything. He raised an eyebrow at her, intrigued.

"Sir, I wouldn't go near the bathrooms on the upper level for a while," she said casually as she pushed the elevator button.

Grinning, he got into the tiny elevator next to her and commented, "I'm proud of all my team members today."


End file.
